Letters to people
Eric Simon
Issue date: 9/3/08 Section: Humor
Dear Stork,
Rumor has it you're going to be dropping by my house in a few months. That's cool, I think I'm ready. I haven't read any books or anything, but with my extensive knowledge of "Full House," "Boy Meets World" and "Family Matters," I figure I'm ready for just about anything.
Okay, maybe not anything. Like putting together the crib … we got it for free from some friends, and it doesn't have any screws or instructions and whatnot so that'll be a phone call to Dad. Or the whole "never changed a diaper in my life" issue … that'll be a call to Mom.
Anyway Stork, I'm getting a bit off topic here. I just wanted to talk to you about the whole delivery process. As far as "the package" goes boy/girl you go ahead and take your pick, just not you know, like quintuplets or anything. My main concern is the due date. You see, the day after my beautiful wife is scheduled to deliver, I've got a Nine Inch Nails concert to be at. So if you can just make sure the birth and the show don't occur at the same time, that'd be great. I have a feeling the whole "you missed the birth of our first child" might be used against me.
Expectantly yours,
Eric Simon
Rumor has it you're going to be dropping by my house in a few months. That's cool, I think I'm ready. I haven't read any books or anything, but with my extensive knowledge of "Full House," "Boy Meets World" and "Family Matters," I figure I'm ready for just about anything.
Okay, maybe not anything. Like putting together the crib … we got it for free from some friends, and it doesn't have any screws or instructions and whatnot so that'll be a phone call to Dad. Or the whole "never changed a diaper in my life" issue … that'll be a call to Mom.
Anyway Stork, I'm getting a bit off topic here. I just wanted to talk to you about the whole delivery process. As far as "the package" goes boy/girl you go ahead and take your pick, just not you know, like quintuplets or anything. My main concern is the due date. You see, the day after my beautiful wife is scheduled to deliver, I've got a Nine Inch Nails concert to be at. So if you can just make sure the birth and the show don't occur at the same time, that'd be great. I have a feeling the whole "you missed the birth of our first child" might be used against me.
Expectantly yours,
Eric Simon
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