OUR VOICE: Words of wisdom from a graduating senior
Eric Johnson
Issue date: 5/6/09 Section: Opinion
Another year is coming to a close. Personally, it is my last here at UMD, but instead of writing a sappy retrospective, I'll leave you with some words of wisdom:
-If you spent most of your college years watching "Family Guy," you wasted a lot of time. Not because watching TV is a waste of time, but because "Family Guy" sucks.
-Nothing should ever start before 10 a.m. This includes, but is not limited to, both work and school-8 a.m. is just too early. Morning people do not exist. Everybody who acts perky in the morning is lying to themselves and everyone else. Just stop. Seriously. You're annoying.
-If you are listening to your iPod, there is no reason for you to talk louder. I'm not the one on my iPod, moron. Stop yelling. I can hear you just fine.
-When did people decide it is OK to preface something inappropriate with a justification and think that it isn't inappropriate? If you say, "I'm not racist but (insert something incredibly racist)," you are, in fact, being racist. Prefacing something with a pseudo apology does not mean you are allowed to say whatever you want.
-There is no band more hit or miss than the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Their songs are either incredibly good or unbearably bad. There is no in between.
-What is the appropriate distance when deciding if you should hold the door for someone who is walking behind you? Whenever I'm in that in between stage of should I hold the door for this person or not, and choose not to, I wonder whether they are thinking, "Why didn't this jerk hold the door for me?" I know I think that. Now, I'm not necessarily asking for a full-on door hold, but at least give me the extra hard door shove so it doesn't shut on me. It's common courtesy.
-How much would someone have to pay you to hang out with Vin Diesel?
-If you think you are going through senioritis, you are probably just lazy, especially if you have experienced senioritis since kindergarten.
-If you spend a lot of time listening to Asher Roth's "I love College," you need to seriously re-evaluate your life.
Finally, as parting words, I will leave you with an anecdote I heard a few weeks ago. And, I must say, wiser words have never been spoken:
On a freezing cold day, in a farm field, a mother rabbit is leading her bunnies back to the warmth of their den. But the bunnies are so cold that they can't go on. So the mother, thinking quickly, sees a fresh, steaming cow pie nearby. She leads her bunnies to the cow pie and, one by one, sticks them in it. Just then, a nasty fox comes along, plucks the bunnies out of the cow pie and eats them.
The moral of the story: Not everyone that sticks you in a world of s*@$ means you harm, and not everyone who pulls you out is your friend.
-If you spent most of your college years watching "Family Guy," you wasted a lot of time. Not because watching TV is a waste of time, but because "Family Guy" sucks.
-Nothing should ever start before 10 a.m. This includes, but is not limited to, both work and school-8 a.m. is just too early. Morning people do not exist. Everybody who acts perky in the morning is lying to themselves and everyone else. Just stop. Seriously. You're annoying.
-If you are listening to your iPod, there is no reason for you to talk louder. I'm not the one on my iPod, moron. Stop yelling. I can hear you just fine.
-When did people decide it is OK to preface something inappropriate with a justification and think that it isn't inappropriate? If you say, "I'm not racist but (insert something incredibly racist)," you are, in fact, being racist. Prefacing something with a pseudo apology does not mean you are allowed to say whatever you want.
-There is no band more hit or miss than the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Their songs are either incredibly good or unbearably bad. There is no in between.
-What is the appropriate distance when deciding if you should hold the door for someone who is walking behind you? Whenever I'm in that in between stage of should I hold the door for this person or not, and choose not to, I wonder whether they are thinking, "Why didn't this jerk hold the door for me?" I know I think that. Now, I'm not necessarily asking for a full-on door hold, but at least give me the extra hard door shove so it doesn't shut on me. It's common courtesy.
-How much would someone have to pay you to hang out with Vin Diesel?
-If you think you are going through senioritis, you are probably just lazy, especially if you have experienced senioritis since kindergarten.
-If you spend a lot of time listening to Asher Roth's "I love College," you need to seriously re-evaluate your life.
Finally, as parting words, I will leave you with an anecdote I heard a few weeks ago. And, I must say, wiser words have never been spoken:
On a freezing cold day, in a farm field, a mother rabbit is leading her bunnies back to the warmth of their den. But the bunnies are so cold that they can't go on. So the mother, thinking quickly, sees a fresh, steaming cow pie nearby. She leads her bunnies to the cow pie and, one by one, sticks them in it. Just then, a nasty fox comes along, plucks the bunnies out of the cow pie and eats them.
The moral of the story: Not everyone that sticks you in a world of s*@$ means you harm, and not everyone who pulls you out is your friend.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Dan
posted 5/06/09 @ 6:13 PM CST
The final anecdote is great!
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