The Average Guy
Best facial hair
Jared Dyrdahl
Issue date: 5/6/09 Section: Sports
For sports fans May is one of the most glorious months of the year. The dawn of May signals the start of playoff season in both the NBA and NHL. For basketball fans, this means a set of playoffs that last almost as long as a Coleman-Franken recount. On the other hand, for hockey fans, this means the sighting of playoff beards, which are some of the most majestic creations that mankind has the great pleasure of beholding. The facial hair sported by professional athletes in May is some of the most magical face fur because of the fact that it can be gone in a mere matter of days. The fleeting nature of the playoff beard is what makes it more magical than its closely related cousin with whom many are familiar, the "Novembeard."
In honor of the stallions of sport, who grace our eyes with the visual snack that is a glorious face of hair, I have convened a committee based on popular mandate (five votes were cast, which makes it about as representative as an SA election) composed of myself and sport's facial hair expert Patrick J. Lenertz to name the top 10 facial hair creations in sport's history. Without further adieu, let us get down to the list:
10) Alex Stalock:
The former Bulldog goalie was last seen on the ice sporting a beard-goatee combination that some speculate fueled the run to the Final Five championship. Stalock makes the list not only because he may have the best facial hair of any Bulldog athlete, but also for the fact that as the goalie he had the best playoff beard on the team, which I must say is a rare achievement.
http://www.uscho.com/images/colorscans/20082009/carrollstalock.jpg
9) Dale Earnhardt:
The "Intimidator" makes the list for having one of the classiest mustaches in the history sport. Not only did the mustache scream professionalism, but it also conveyed a certain sense of consistency. NASCAR fans are well aware that even after wrecking his car (which happened quite a bit given his aggressive driving style), he emerged from the crash without a hair in that signature mustache singed.
In honor of the stallions of sport, who grace our eyes with the visual snack that is a glorious face of hair, I have convened a committee based on popular mandate (five votes were cast, which makes it about as representative as an SA election) composed of myself and sport's facial hair expert Patrick J. Lenertz to name the top 10 facial hair creations in sport's history. Without further adieu, let us get down to the list:
10) Alex Stalock:
The former Bulldog goalie was last seen on the ice sporting a beard-goatee combination that some speculate fueled the run to the Final Five championship. Stalock makes the list not only because he may have the best facial hair of any Bulldog athlete, but also for the fact that as the goalie he had the best playoff beard on the team, which I must say is a rare achievement.
http://www.uscho.com/images/colorscans/20082009/carrollstalock.jpg
9) Dale Earnhardt:
The "Intimidator" makes the list for having one of the classiest mustaches in the history sport. Not only did the mustache scream professionalism, but it also conveyed a certain sense of consistency. NASCAR fans are well aware that even after wrecking his car (which happened quite a bit given his aggressive driving style), he emerged from the crash without a hair in that signature mustache singed.
Be the first to comment on this story