Statesman

Issue date: 5/5/10 Section: News

Media Credit: Josh Holmquist/Submitted Holmquist performed at this year's QASU Drag Show.

Media Credit: Josh Holmquist/Submitted Josh Holmquist has been drugged and beaten, all because he is gay. But coming out this year, he said, was very refreshing.

Being gay hasn't always been easy for UMD junior Josh Holmquist. He has been harassed and hazed and treated unfairly. He was once drugged at a bar, dragged outside, beaten and left for dead in the woods in Duluth. He has lived in fear. He has been afraid that his family and friends would disown him and he was once fearful of being himself.

"I think it was the fear of social rejection more than anything," Holmquist said. "I was afraid the social ramifications would be great."

Holmquist kept his true sexual orientation private from his family until just about one year ago. It was in high school, during a personal relationship with a girl, when he realized that he wasn't meant to date women. Holmquist used to tell his family that he had girlfriends, but he never brought any girls home.

"I had a boyfriend at St. Cloud, but my Facebook status always just said that I was in a relationship and it never said with who," Holmquist said.

Prior to attending UMD, Holmquist completed his first two years of college at St. Cloud State University (SCSU). He transferred to UMD for his junior year of college because he found SCSU to be a very conservative community and he wanted to be a part of a culture that was more broadminded. He was not part of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Alliance (GLBT) at SCSU because he was worried about the lack of support.

"I wasn't out yet, so I had my reservations about joining," Holmquist said.

Holmquist hadn't yet disclosed his sexual orientation to his parents, and he was afraid that the truth would somehow trickle back to them. Two weeks after his final semester at SCSU, he came out to his family. He revealed his deepest secret to his mom via e-mail because he knew then she wouldn't be able to walk away from him. Typing his feelings came naturally, but hitting send was the hardest part.

Transferring to UMD resulted in a positive experience for Holmquist. He felt accepted by the UMD community and he no longer felt like he needed to hide his sexual orientation from his peers.

"To be able to come out, it was really refreshing and nice," Holmquist said.

Holmquist is currently a board member for the Queer and Allied Students Union (QASU). He recently participated in the spring drag show that took place in the Kirby Ballroom on March 27. The process of transforming into a drag queen and expressing his sexuality to hundreds of people was a monumental chapter in Holmquist's life.

"Besides coming out, it was one of the biggest moments in my life," Holmquist said. "It was almost hard because it was kind of like closure of who I am as a person."

Holmquist's mom, sister, friends and co-workers came to the drag show to see him perform. Through the support of family and friends, Holmquist has learned how to accept himself, and he has learned how to endure the lifestyle that many people view negatively. He came to Duluth as "Josh Holmquist, who is gay," and now he doesn't let the opinions of others affect his opinion of himself.

Holmquist, along with the other members of QASU attend GLBT conferences a few times each year. They attended the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgendered Allie College Conference earlier this spring. Transgendered keynote speaker and author, Kate Bornstein, spoke at this conference and Holmquist found her words to be very motivational. During her presentation Holmquist heard the quote that he lives by:

"I've learned to survive in a world that would rather see me dead."

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